The place that I am
Is not the dramatic place where I’m melodramatic?
The place that I am
Is not the insensible place perceived to be erratic?
The place that I am
Is not the overworked place heard to be pathetic?
The place that I am is waking up every morning
Knowing it was only by God’s grace
Being in the new day as it starts early dawning
Running steady in life’s endless race
Being given the opportunity to continue learning
Having companionships at a safe pace
Listened to when I’m doing what I love, teaching
Enjoying shoes, all I have like finest lace
The place I am is easy and not so easy
It is filled with expectation like most other places
Like the movies or a mob with big money cases
I dream, I plot, I wonder, I expect different phases
The place I am filled with all of these wired together by God.
To be in the place that I am is to be me.
I really wanted to come in here again, because of the obvious. I haven’t so much as typed a dot in a long time. I had a lot going on with me, but not so much come to think of it. I have been dreaming and sharing dreams and bonding. That takes a lot of work. I’m still not sure if this blog is for or will centre on a single gender or not, I realize lots of the posts are directed towards females, and that’s because I am female. This one is titled the place in my life. Where am I at this point? I am at the place where,I’m content. I value authenticity. I am conscious of how I look but not overly. I am happy going to and being in school. The future seems bright, with God on my side. My family is okay. My friends are there though not so close (probably because I have no phone). I am at that place. I am filled with joy every Sunday when I get to teach my class. Have I really looked at things and worked on my most recent goal? er not really. So yes today, I’m going to be looking at stuff from a thinking type mind-set, questions really.
I was reading about Ruth and Boaz and funny enough a friend posted a video of a Pastor preaching on it and I felt like it was a sign, a sign to do what? Go after somebody I feel an attraction to or who would help me make a living, Go after? Hannah went to God in prayer for a son. Then I read about Saul next and how the people of Israel wanted a King so they went after Samuel and got him to make them one knowing he would be a dictator (did you also get the vibe that God was cursing them when he answered their request?) Sometimes I want to reach into my Bible and strangle the Israelites. They were at a place were God spoke to them through somebody but were not content in that.
11 And he said, this will be the manner of the king that will reign over you: He will take your sons, and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and, and to be his horsemen and some run before his chariots… 1Sam 8: 11-17, you should read that.
It goes on; the daughters will be cooks, confectioners (such a big word for someone that sells sweets) etc.. There it was right there but they still stubbornly refused to listen and got the Saul, the made man, taller than everyone else that went crazy. I talked about being Flyver, after that and now I am talking (typing) about the place you are at right now in your mind, heart and etc. have you really thought about it? Is your life story doing anything for others? Is your life story interesting? Or the boring kind that’s steady, that keeps those looking up to you inline? Are you really living? Pushing for the good of others if not for you? What are you going after? Is there one thing you consciously push yourself to do knowing you might get shut down but you do anyway? Are you focusing on something and forgetting the most important things?
I just spoke to somebody, and he knew I was a Christian but it still seemed like he was encouraging me to become one or to act like one, though we were talking for the first time. He had been talking to a girl and I could hear him say Jesus a lot. There he was when I walked in and then I walked by, he looked up and I looked at him knowing I had been introduced but I walked on and sat and worked on my work till the girl he was speaking to left. I knew I could not pretend not to have seen him, the stirring in my heart begun (can’t say the Holy Spirit nags), so I backtracked and went to say hi. Guess what? He knew me, remembered me, and he had just gone through a pretty bad breakup. He told me to learn from it .. I was surprised. He had gone through the thing, it hurt him but he was already using it to preach to me. (Yeah heavy Pastoral anointing), his eyes were watery (I know some peeps will think he probably didn’t really like the girl that much, that’s a sign right there).
I got one major thing from his conversation. He knew his primary, wired assignment. What he had been wired to do as a Christian, to experience things and react to them the God way. To do things for other people, he heads a Christian group on campus and I could hear the invitation to join in, though the girl that he started it with just broke up with him; he’s looking for ways to push fulfilling objectives. Like I like to think, I don’t necessarily come to conclusions here I just think with you, or get you to think with me. We all want to be going and doing but then in doing what are we doing? In asking for greatness, a Saul, are we incurring bad stuff? In trying to leave the place that we are we neglecting to do what we are called to do?
In not being content are we seeking for disaster? I guess I’m saying in that place you are at now, what are you doing for the people or things around you? Are you governable? Is God not enough for you at that point? My sister wrote about my name to me and it got me crying. Enough! That’s what Tomi means. The Lord is enough for me to serve, that’s what my full name means. In going after things, in going after life is the Lord really enough for me? Is there a balance? Too much of anything is not good. Having a balance is always a priority. You should be a go getter for the right reasons but also patient, God always gives warnings, see how he told the people of Israel right then Saul would be a dictator but they ignored the signs. Ruth got Boaz in the end after the whole field thing. She went to do what she was wired to do, to listen to council (Naomi) and to work for a living.
So In short, are you doing what you are wired to do? Like this guy I was talking about he is wired to share Jesus through his personal experiences. I am wired to say hi to people even if they always pretend not to know me. I am wired to impact lives. I am wired to be authentic; I am wired to be playful. I am wired to talk. I am wired to like literature. I am wired by God. It’s not always easy, its not by what we do that makes us wired it’s in God’s love that we are wired in accepting it we direct what we were wired for in the right direction Colossian’s 3:14. That is the place that I am, the place where I understand what I am wired for and doing something about it, to relate with other Christians, to make people happy. That’s the place that I am. Knowing God loves me in it all so he wired me in my imperfection, took me to this place though I don’t deserve it and made me perfect, made me deserving. What place are you?”